Published by Dan Graham on 07 October 2020 in Opinion

Are You Talking Yourself Out of the Lifestyle You Want?

As part of our international speaker programme, we are connecting with financial planners from all over the world and we thought we would highlight some of their work. Here is a client facing blog from Kelly Harris of Perron Financial Group in Australia.

 

Are You Talking Yourself Out of the Lifestyle You Want?

Ever look at others and wonder how they keep affording their lifestyle? Ever wonder why, no matter hard you work, someone else seems to be better off?

What seems confusing and frustrating is that lots of us work hard but we don’t end up with anywhere near as much money as other people.

Despite what we may think, the problem is not that the more wealthy among us caught a lucky break or they are smarter than us (discounting actual geniuses like Elon Musk), we actually talk ourselves out of having the money, and therefore the quality of life, we really want.

 

Let me explain.

You know how much exercise we ‘should’ be doing (the most common tip is 30 mins per day) yet we don’t do it consistently, if at all. We all know we can actually do it and that we will feel much better for it but we conveniently talk ourselves out of it with various excuses because it’s easier this way. Exercise means pain.

Despite knowing what’s good for us, we talk ourselves out of what we know is good for us in order to avoid the perceived pain. The avoidance of pain is a far bigger motivator than the pursuit of pleasure, right?

The same applies with money, we know there are certain decisions we should make in our lives that can make us financially better off, but the thought of the pain in doing so, makes it all seem too hard.

By applying some simple creation wealth principles and changing your mindset about money, you can guide you towards a better relationship with money. You can do this by changing our negative and counter-productive self-talk about money, improve your wealth creation prospects, put the right settings in place for us to actually have the time to enjoy your money (and without the nasty side effects).

There are many and varied philosophies around money, along the lines of needing to work hard to get ahead. What can be frustrating, however, is when we work hard but just don’t seem to be getting ahead. Frustrating, isn’t it?

It can be tempting to become defeatist in our thinking – they are luckier, smarter, better connected, or better educated than me. While good luck cannot be discounted, these random factors are far less important than the way we think about money which is the main reason for our current financial situation.

We all have a little voice inside our head, which is sometimes helpful, but often not. When we look at photos of the holiday we really want to go on or the house we really want to buy, the ‘voice of reason’ around money will say things like, ‘we can’t afford it’, ‘we don’t have enough money’ or ‘that’s too expensive’. In short, we talk ourselves out of our dreams, when we don’t need to.

If we approach money mindset from position of self-defeat and envy, convincing ourselves that we will never be successful, then this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Watch your self-talk around money. It is incredibly powerful, so be aware of it and make sure it’s being positive, supportive and telling you want you need to hear to propel you to the next level of success. With this awareness, you will start reframing your outlook and eventually, your relationship with money will change for the better.

 

Kelly Harris is Director of Human Connections at Perron Financial Group.

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